Deena Kay Anders joined the Erb family on February 10th 1979. We were barely 20 years old when we married. She immediately fell in love with the Erb family. We started out living in low income housing in Great Bend KS. Deena was really close to her mother, Nadine Anders. She loved her mom, dad, brother, sister, nieces and nephews fully, and I'm sure it wasn't easy living 6 hours from her mother and the rest of her family. But Deena felt right at home with my mom and dad and they quickly became good friends. Deena was like a sponge. She soaked up a lot of the incredible cooking, canning and gardening knowledge mom had to offer. Deena had already been blessed with a heart full of love for family. Nadine Anders, Deena's mom was the ultimate mother-in-law. We were fortunate to have had the combined influence of Nadine Anders, and Frances Erb. Both our dads were hard workers and good providers for their families. We both had the same goal, having children was our first and most important goal.
We were blessed with 4 beautiful children. I remember being really scared when I held Preston, our first born, for the first time. It was like the weight of the whole world was placed on our shoulders. This little miracle I was holding depended on us for everything. At our young ages of 21, we knew the importance of our roles as parents. Through the example of our parents, we knew the best thing a father can do for their child is to love that child’s mother. Same goes for the mother. The best thing a mother can do for their child is to love that child’s father. It was easy for us to love one another because our goal was the same. Deena was selfless. She never asked for anything she wasn’t willing to work for. The first house we purchased was a little 900 sq ft house in Albert Kansas at a cost of $1500. It was all we could afford and we put a lot of sweat equity in that house.
Our children were our priority and they have made us proud.
Preston – US Army Ranger – Firefighter. Preston and his wife Kim have two children, Brandon & Ella
Kenton – 82nd Airborne Combat Medic – PA. Kenton and his wife Julie have 4 children, Carley, Claire, & Easton. Kenton and Julie lost their first child Cooper at birth. They are expecting another child soon.
Danae – Survivor -- CT Technologist. Danae and her husband Billy have two children, Carson and Hannah.
Kelsey – KU track athlete and current Kansas 1A State Track Meet triple jump record holder - Speech Pathologist. Kelsey and her husband Curtis have two children, Allison and Anders.
In 2013 we were blessed with three grandchildren, which brought our total to 9. Deena’s legacy will have no end. By the end of 2015 we will have 11 grandchildren. Months before Deena had any idea she had pancreatic cancer, she told our youngest child Kelsey, that she had lived a full life. She was able to watch all her children have children. We lost our first grandchild at birth and I can’t help but believe Deena is in heaven sharing heaven’s great reward with her first grandchild Cooper. Deena told me after the loss of Cooper that she prayed to God and asked Him that she would be taken before anyone else in her family died. She couldn’t stand the loss. She offered up her life, her pain and suffering for her family. Apparently God answered her prayer. Deena didn’t die peacefully in her sleep. She died wide awake fighting for her last breath. That moment in time will be forever etched in my mind. She loved life, she was a contributor to this earth, and I can’t wait to be with her again. My love for God, our children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters has not changed. I still love them the same as I always have. My love for Deena has not changed, she will forever hold my heart.
We did not reinvent the wheel, but together Deena & I reintroduced to the world the beautiful pieces of Leonard and Frances Erb and Elton and Nadine Anders. Leonard and Frances were married for 55 years before death took Leonard away. Elton and Nadine were married 50 years before death took Nadine away. I always figured Deena and I would see our golden anniversary. 35 years was our number here on earth. My heart feels that eternity will be our next venture.
Below is the last photo of Deena alive with our entire family at that time. This photo was taken in April of 2014, three months before Deena’s death due to pancreatic cancer on July 27th 2014.
Born November 22, 1958 in Great Bend, Kansas.
My name is Paul Gerard Erb. I didn’t know how to spell my middle name until I was in the 6thgrade. Think of how surprised I was when I found out that Philip had the same middle name as I have! I’m second to the last batter in this lineup, let’s just say that Mary Joseph was the designated guardian angel of this ball team. By the time I showed up, most of the fun had already been had in Timken. My earliest memory would put a head count of 8 kids in the old two story house we called home. Jim was living in Great Bend, John was off to the Air Force, and I have vague memories of Betty being at home before she also moved to Great Bend. We used to look forward to Sunday’s, because after church, Betty & Jim would bring their families to visit us in Timken. Their girls seemed to be about the same age as Donnie and I. We used to love playing with our nieces; they seemed more like our sisters than nieces. Dad loved to travel to Great Bend and watch Jim play fast pitch softball. Watching the older brothers play sports was a huge thrill for me, and as luck would have it, we didn’t miss many of their games. Memories of Bill and Jerry’s ball games are also vague. I do remember thinking there was one cheerleader, the same age as Bill and Jerry who was very pretty – she still is! Just so happens, Jerry married her. Good thing too!! It didn’t take long before the house started emptying out. I remember Mom crying ever so hard every time one of the boys would leave for the Air Force. The Vietnam War unfolded right before our eyes every night on the evening news. The body count was like a score card for the news media. I looked up to all of my older brothers as they were my heroes. I’m sure they were a huge influence in my own boys’ decision to join the Army. I always wish I would have followed in my brother’s footsteps and served this great country in the military, but I know for a fact, I wouldn’t change anything else that has shaped my life and family thus far.
A person had to be a kind of tough to hold their own with this crew. Although Mom was a fairly small lady, she seemed to know how to even the sides in most of the skirmishes that flared up around the house. All she usually had to say was, “you wait till your dad gets home!!” And everyone would reevaluate the situation. Mom was a hard worker with a heart of gold. If anyone was in need, she was there to help, meals and prayers were her specialties. I’d like to have a list of all moms’ old wives’ tales. She could give a pretty accurate weather forecast by looking at the moon. Mom on occasion would also play catch with us, I was always impressed because she never want to use a glove, she’d say, “just throw me the ball”, she had a pretty good arm too.
By the time Donnie and I arrived, Dad had mellowed out quite a bit, at least that’s what the older brothers and sisters tell me. I remember Dad loved his garden. He would come home from work and spend hours planting, watering and harvesting his garden. Dad took a lot of pride in his garden and I really enjoyed helping him work there. Dad had an extremely dry sense of humor, and you had to be on your toes, or you missed his jokes. Saturdays were pretty special for Donnie and I, Dad would take us to Marlette, where he worked for 20 plus years, and we’d use the company’s watts line to call the boys in the Air Force. It was fun going to work with Dad, he seemed pretty special at work.
Grandpa was a hoot. Once in a while, not very often, he would let us take a drag of his cigar. I’m sure he figured it would detour us from smoking, but I thought it was pretty cool. Grandpa would play ball with us too. Grandpa, while in his seventies, would grab a baseball bat and make us pitch to him. He would stand on top the plate, point the bat at us, and tell us to pitch the ball at him. He would get mad if you didn’t throw hard. He would hit the ball with the end of the bat like hitting a pool ball with a pool stick. He was pretty amazing. Grandpa was at our house quite a bit. He loved playing cards, and took each card game very serious. Mom and dad took care of grandpa when he was too old to take care of himself. He was diagnosed with hardening of the arteries. I’m sure these days’s it would be called Alzheimer’s. Mom didn’t think twice about taking care of his every need. He was so special to us kids.
Earlier, I mentioned my older brothers were my heroes. Well, I have a younger brother I’d have to call a very special hero. If it weren’t for Donnie, I probably wouldn’t be here today. He made sure I got home from places I shouldn’t have gone. He put the designate in designated driver, way before it became a popular thing to do. He chose not to drink and didn’t waver to peer pressure. He is as squared away as anyone I know. If we had a world full of Donnie’s, it would be a much better place to live. Thanks for everything Don.
Betty and Theresa are special sisters that helped shape my life in many ways. Betty took care of me as if she were my second mom. Theresa was a close childhood friend and we had lots of fun growing up together. It couldn’t have been easy being the only two girls in a family with eight brothers, but you didn’t hear many complaints from them.
I’ve often wondered why God placed me with such a great family. Mom always taught us that too much pride is a sin. I guess I’ll have to ask for forgiveness for this sin. I’ll always be thankful to Him for this beautiful gift of a family.
Here’s an Irvin story. One time, Irvin made me get out of the car and walk a ways barefooted on the highway during a trip home from the Lacrosse swimming pool, it was an extremely hot summer day. He was bound and determined that I wasn’t going to tell Mom he was smoking. Guess what, I told Mom! He probably didn’t get in trouble.
Ok, so we’re not perfect!
March 30th 1978 was the luckiest day of my life. While attending Fort Scott Community College I met Deena Kay Anders at a dorm party. I remember visiting with her at the party, and I remember thinking how pretty she was and that her beautiful smile was heartfelt. We had a nice visit at the party. The next day I was lucky enough to see her again in the library, and she was full of information. She remembered all the names and details that I had shared with her about my family. I couldn’t believe the details she remembered. I may have had a few beers before our first introduction, as I didn’t remember telling her all the things she told me. I knew she was special. Her smile, kindness and pure love won me over quickly. I’d be remiss to say her long long legs were an attraction I couldn’t resist.
Below, a picture of our start.